It's Just that, IMissYou♥

come back , love♥

Friday, April 30, 2010 || 9:29 PM

bambam's ^^

yesterday meet bby . it was really my NO MOOD at that time . tggu dier bkan maen LAMER lgy ? almost an hour aku ddok pt luar tangge rumah dier . you see , i'm sweet and undersnding ? rite ? klau pompan laen , mner die nk tgu smpi gtu lmer skali . tpy ader uh pompan gtu . its like 10% out of 100% jer . so , i'm one of those 10% . hha . knock on his door mcm tailong ! hha . lembab ! kay nehmine . i forgive him . syg dier nye psal . when i was day-dreaming ali2 dier dtg dgan muke masai dier tu . msok rumah dier tgok kwn dier mane bola . fcuking bad mood . criously . its my 2nd time . tknk pandang dier pon at that point of time . pandang tv jer . dgar lagu . boring ! then kiter kuar . we walk far apart . its me yg nk jlan jauh . psal dah mrah . beh dier tktau nk pujok , tau ckap sorry jer . bt nehmine , i see his trying . we dont talk . then kiter g kdai burung . cause he know thats my fav place . dier nk blanjer i mkan ice-kachang . but i tknk . tpy actually I NAK ! tgah geram nyer psal . tats y i refused to . atlast we talk . i dont know why i cry . its like nothing . i think EGO i nyer psal kn . kay . don wan elaborate more psal nie . then blahblah we go westpark . bfore that , dlam bus , its like his turn to badmood . taik kn ? mmg uh i nk pujok . but wat did i do ? i let him relax by himself then . ddok westpark . dier baring pt lap i . bukak lgu 'we are the world' dgan justin bieber dier tu . sibok jer ikot justin bieber nyer style . no lah kn b ?! hha . its justin bieber yg ikot you kn ? hha . okay then i say this " b , layan i lah ! i mendak you tau tk ?! " he's diff than bfore . more diff ! its like , the more longer we are together , the more diff ur attitude are . slalunyer kiter LAUGH AND LAUGH , comment org smuer . make fun of me . bully me .

now ? .....

far more diff . you're not the E'inSpark i've used to know bfore . i'm trying to bring back the old past memories to re-live . but you with ur ZIP-MOUTH . make me feel like ure fading . i'm trying to make our everyday moments to be fun . i wan to be ur best . i wan to bring up ur smile and make you laugh . but i failed . i'm trying , i do . but my effort does not seems to worth it . nothing seems to be diff with my effort anymore . i want you to be the old you . can ?

i cannot hold it by my self . i cant stand on my own . only you , who i can only depend on .

i cant laugh by myself , cause people will think i'm insane .

and thats why , i need you to laugh with me .

i cant cry on my own , cause i know i wont stop .

and , thats why . i need you to be thre for me and wipe my tears away .

i cant be kissing my own self in the mirror .

and tats why i kissed you .

i cant hug my self ,

and thats why i hug you .

i cant share my love with other guys cause you will label me as flirt .

and tats why i need you to love me too .

i want you , to be the old person whom i know bfore , can ?

Thursday, April 29, 2010 || 2:32 AM

people look and say my smile is like a ray of sunshine and i'm the one who brighten up's everyone life with my cute blur actions i had in the morning . they say this " ein should be proud having you as his gf " . and i ask why . they say many guys wanted me , but why in the million who's more PERFECT than him , but why do you chose him ? i was like err . i got that answer in my mind . but i dont know how to phrase it . i know they wont understnd what i talked .

all i can say is

all the answer is up to him

he's the reason why .

he's the only one who can win my heart nevertheless , he make me realise what does love means .

and they say . "so untong"

all i gotta do is to kept quite .

they say we're such a GREAT COUPLE .

unbelievable isnt it dear ? hha .

they dont know wats heppening between us . which affects my life from doing things i wanted to do .

I LOVE YOU , i say this to them . and i say ONLY .

then they ask . "but do he love you as what you expect ?"

i kept quite . and i say "why not ?"

they replied "you wont know shahara .. "

"expect love doesnt comes from his heart or by his looks or whatsoever , but it comes from his ATTITUDE . if he change , and you realise it by sudden . who will know ? myb he does not .... you again ? we wont know . but god knows"

i TERcry .

and they say i got that angellic face and that most attracting and wonderfull smile ever . i own that cute and blur face who makes people laugh and they love me , just the way i am .

and they say this , if one day you must to let him go .

what would i do ?

i can only answer " cry "

then they say "with ur genuine warmth and ur natural beauty and your compassion towards other people , you'll win the heart of a special person . and he's more far better than him ."

i replied " i dont want to , if i can ... "

" only god know , what i felt inside . i love him too much . and i dont think he knows . he will think that this is all CRAP WORDS . hell ya ! but it has its meaning behind those words . and i meant it when i say it . i dont wan to give up on you ever . if this one wish can be fullfilled . i would just wish this one thing . let me be with him . thats all ."

~ cause , its impossible for me to let him go .

having him , its all i had ever wish for . 101209 , loves ^^

Wednesday, April 28, 2010 || 12:59 AM

chak ! i'm back ^^

let's see what i do today . ermmm ....

i go skolah , BORING ! i tersleep pt class during my history lesson ~_~ ngantok seyooh !

yesterday , OTP ngan bby . bored jgak ! bby dont know wat to talk . i got this BAD feeling which i damned deep inside my heart . i'm avoiding all those feelings cause i dont wan to FIGHT with you ANYMORE ! i just hate it , hate it so much . when u dont even have the initiative to mcg me at all . why must ME ? why must I'M the one who MUST to mcg you ferst ? when i talk to you OTP . its like , u r so NOT IN THE MOOD . tell me if you do , cant you ?! i know its part of my mistakes too , cause i don understnd you at this situation . not like i tknk understnd you or whatsoever , but . i just DONT WANT and i CANT accept this . do i NEED to give in EVERYTIME ? do i ? if i had to , tell me please so . and i would GIVE IN everytime , as all you want . i don wan this to repeat again and again . yesterday after i put up . i was like staring at my phone . waiting for your mcg . kay , i know you told me to mcg you ferst . but i sengajer buat gnik . i nk tau aper you buat klau i tk mcg you . i got all those harapan for you to mcg me . an hour past , yet i dint even receive 1 mcg either . i cried and i lay at my bed . staring up . did you EVER CARE ? dont you ? i was like damn fcuking tired until i slept . and at morning i saw ur goodnite mcg . why must you mcg me gudnite , by not asking me why i tk mcg you ?! okay . i dont know , and i dont even have a clue what are you doing for that 1 hour at ur house ?! until its SO hard for you to even mcg me ONCE . i don wan this to get on more until it all crashed . i got to stop it now bfore its over . i had forgiven you and forget about what happend yestreday . and its seems like you DONT CARE ? true ? okay . easy talk . i don care TOO ! game uh . klau u tk mcg , i pon tk mcg . amcm b ? fare tak ? i think so huh ?! and today . its like we're no longer MESRA like bfore . we're not as sweet and easy going as what we are bfore . i want it too . i don wan to give in again . i want you , ur turn ! but seems like , it wont ever happened again . did u ever realise ? the way we talk OTP and the way we mcg bfore its TOO MUCH DIFF ? so much different . myb you dont realise it ? i got nothing to do more . all i can do is to HOPE for the best on our relationship . may god bless us . amin .

a true love , what does it means bside having you and letting you go ?

you're the answer .

our 5 months is coming . but can we go far again ? myb more far ?

i wan you to realise all ur mistakes . i've realise mine . and i'm sorry .

i tried to change , not to control you anymore , but you dont let me to .

i know and i believe you .

you love me , dont you ?

i love you too .

more than you do baby ...

~ 10120 , loves ^^

his the reason why to my everything . and he's the reason why i blive in LOVE .

and , thanks to god , i have him to be my life partner .

he;s mine . my everything .

my future husband , maybe ?

i just cant get my attention of him .

I LOVE HIM , i do .

i miss him too :'(

and i wish that this year"s new year , i can celebrate with him at marina bay again .

oh god , can you fullfil my wish pleasseee ? :'(

Tuesday, April 27, 2010 || 3:23 AM

people . i will link those who i know sajer okay ? and sorry , i got no more chatbox . bcause CONFERM2 ader spammers nyer ! hha . but sayng korang nyer pasal kn . i'll put up my chatbox sooner okay ? not later , but sooner ;)

and smentare , saper yg nk suroh kite link , tolong mcg kite yer . pade sesiape yg kite kenal uh . pader sesiape yg tkder nombor kite , pandai2 lah awak carik aye . psal kiter tkkn sebar2kn nombor kiter lgy . SORRY DEAR ! and please put ur web jgak . psal kite tk boleh link awak klau awak tk bgy web awak . thnks ^^ btw , ENJOY reading SYNGSS :)

|| 2:38 AM

heyho bambam's ^^

awake from my dream . ngantok ~_~ ! i'm editing my stupid blog of mine ! burok sak blog aku . PUNDEK ! okay , nehmine . mlas . let it be like wat it is . hha . school has been great . i'm attending lessons . being a goodgirl , makes my momma proud ! hha . mid-year is coming soon and sooner . study hard . forcing my eyes to open as big as it can so that i would not fall asleep again ! ngantok seyyoohhh ! okay .
i think i'll seldom update , busy .
you know wat ? bby gave me my NEW UGLY TERRIBLE NAME ! it's HEN ! a HEN ! babi dier . bnyk2 binatang kner HEN . ader link lah sey . hha . its MY SPIKE ! tpy ttap jambuu lah seiyoo ! hha . kay , tteeeerrrrrraaaasssseee !!! i rindu ITIK i . tkder link lah pt dier . ITIK pon sodap lah eyh .
eka . give me hug everyday ! sweet kn dier ? ILOVEHER . hha .
nothing to elaborate more about bby . i'm trying to focusing on my studies and not to think about negative effects about bby . i don wan a FIGHT between us anymore . i'm sick of FIGHTING like cats and dogs ! ( cat=me , dog=you!!!! ) hha . i miss him :'( next week mid-year . how am i suppose to handle all this . i need time to spend dgan bby and at the same time i need time to study .
~ i don wan bby to misunderstood me just for a little thingy thing . so as me . i dont flirt . and i hope so do you . i miss you , but do you ? no matter haw far apart we are , i believe we can handle all this together . i'm yours truly bby , only you who deserve it all . no other . i love you like the first day we met . i miss you like thre's no tomorrow . i miss ur funny STUPID jokes . i miss ur laughter , i miss ur smile , i miss how the way we cry together . i miss hugging you . i miss the way how you laugh at me when i was like BLUR ! i miss kissing you . and lastly , i miss interacting with you . a day , just a day . i CANNOT TAHAN ALREADY ! i felt like i'm far . far away from you . but i sence ur presence when i cried and say ur name repeatly . myb you think that i dont care about you anymore when i didnt even mcg you . i do it with sengajer . i want you to mcg me first . i keep staring at my phone , wonder how long does it take for you to just mcg me . you dont know . and you wont even know . that i CARE for you ! i cried when you say YOU LOVE ME . bcause for all this time , things seems not to be unusual . i wan you to realise that i'm ALWAYS THRE , praying and waiting for you . wishing you all the best . and i keep blowing my love . i dint reflect on other boys , cause I GOT YOU . it's more than enough . ur the person that i awaits and i believe into . whom i always LOVE and CARE . the one whom i miss every seconds without failing . bcause of you , i'm changed to a better person . ur the most wonderfull guy i ever met bby . those love you gave me will nver be wasted . the smiles and the laughter you brought to my life , the tears , those sweet and sour experiences we had to together , it's just TOO HARD TO FORGET . i love you , more than EVERY SINGLE PERSON in this world . my only love , I LOVE YOU .
for so many mistakes you've done , i've had forgiven you . is thre gonna be more tomoorrrooww ??

Monday, April 26, 2010 || 5:07 AM

heyho peeps ^^

new . to this blog . so i hope dah tkder masalah pt blog sni plak ! hha . okay . eka , soon i'm gonna upload ur pic and ABOUT YOU pt sbelah . tgu jer maser dier okay ? hha . okay . last sun , we go town . although kiter due jer . bt its still fun though . btol tak eka ? awesome ! kiter lpak pt toilet , and we took many2 pictures . but sorry i upload sket jer . tk abes edit . soon , i'll upload kay . klau ader mase uh . mid-year is coming . I'M NOT READY ! okay . aku rindu baby aku skarng ! i nk jumper die ! sguh busy , so i'll seldom update . mira has been paitao me for loads . but nver mine , i still have eka with me . thnks eka . i sayang you . she's my GREATEST FRIEND though . she's thre for me . accompany me all day long . her smile , cheerish me up . the most wonderfull , beautifull face filled with love that she gave me . she's the one who replace my old PAITAO friend . although she's labelling as her PAITAO QUEEN ! hha . but i paitao her with valid reason okay ! bkan mcm si katek tu ! okay . fcuk forget it . i'm starting my new leaf with my two bbyloves . my spiderman and my sunshine . eka , ur my sunshine babe ! thnks for being there for me and alwys CUBIT PIPI AKU SMPI NK BIRU !~ dear my ex-so called 'bestfriend' . replacing you with her . bandingkn kau ngan dier . its too hard for me to easily let you go to the wrong path . i've tried to avoid you from going further away and be a spoiled person . i know when once you go to that dark path , you will nver realise that ur betraying ur promises . for all this time . i had been patience for being your DOG ! i'm saying this cause for me like i'm ur DOG . its harsh . facing the fact i'm gonna lose my friend . i treat you as my everything , but do you treat me like that ? do you ? i know , you want to be developing , following other people's style . but you can do it anothr way , cant you ? i want to be thre leading you . but u've gone too far . until its too hard for me to help . teachers , even principle . they kept asking me about ur whereabouts . i just don noe wat to answer to them anymore . they care about you , everyone is concern . but its you who chose to be in that dark path , with ur new leading matreps . i'm sorry . but i wan to live my lyfe without you . i wanna let you realise ur ownself . may that one day awaits .

speech day . gerek . but eka slalu bully aku ! but she's fun . and iloveher . my new sunshine . the one i cheerish much , and i treasured deep . nice performnce we've done . great job juniors , i'm proud of you !

nothing more to elaborate .

i miss my spiderman . does he think about me rite now ? does he ? does he miss me like i do ? its hard for me to move on my day without ur mcg . he's my sweetest nightmare . i love you . everyday . i miss you . every seconds , without failing . those memories we made . do you know how wonderfull it was ? i miss you syg . i just wish that i could turn the clock faster ! :'(